it took me and hour and a half to drive home today

which actually wasn't the longest it's ever taken me to get home. i made sure to blast the music to keep me awake, a hard feat when i only had a few hours of sleep and hadn't eaten anything today. i found myself daydreaming a lot while i was driving, and for a second when i snapped out of it i thought i missed my exit. i looked around and none of my surroundings seemed familiar, but then i realized i didn't recognize any of it because usually i'd be speeding by all those trees and hills. sigh. another long day.

sometimes it feels like i play a different person every time i go to a new class. today i was the chill, sleepy elaine, just waiting till i could get home. yesterday during the lab i was the busy bee elaine, just trying to finish in time. so many other personalities to keep track of. today someone described me as "old soul." what the hell was that supposed to mean? not to say that it was a bad thing; now that i think about it it sounds pretty cool. but what is it? and which personality is my real one? i thought back to what i was like before all this. all last semester i was the shy quiet elaine; if i didn't have a designated seat i stayed in the corner, i had no friends, but i breezed through everything, albeit alone. this semester i have to work a great deal harder: two kitchen labs, classes that actually require me to think, and actually having to study for quizzes. what i am glad about is that i have some kind of friends this semester, even if a lot of them are just acquaintences, and that i have classes with people who are around my age rather than decades older. then i thought back to what i was like before college; i would joke around with my friends and could laugh as loud as i wanted, knowing i definitely would not be the loudest. i was comfortable with the friends i held on to for years and years. why do different surroundings always bring such an enormous turnaround in my personality? i can feel it rush through my head, and i need a lot more time to think about this.

i can't wait till friday :)

rantalicious: a couple of days ago i scratched my face and now i have a hugeass scar/scab right on top of my nose!!! hopefully it heals soon and goes away... it's kinda painful and it's not really something that i can just cover up with makeup :(

p.s. sorry about the whole identity crisis thing, but it was all i could think of today. hopefully it'll satiate your appetite for a look inside my head...