movin' on up + spring break

saturday was my cousin's going away party, and we pretty much spent the whole day just cooking and preparing for it. she's going to teach english in japan for a whole year! i'm just thinking about how weird it will be to go and do all that and then return back to cali; whether things will be the same as before and you'll feel at home again, or whether in the span of one year things end up changing dramatically. we all seem to be at a point in our lives right now where it's hard to maintain a level of comfort because of the lack of stability with all these things. but that's life i guess; change is inevitable, and in the long run all we can hope for is that it will be for the better.

but ANYWAY, i spent thursday and friday making a cake for her goodbye party, even though they ended up eating it the next morning (i would rather they eat it sober than drunk anyway haha).

an aerial view of the cake. it says "sayonara stacey" in japanese. it's layers of vanilla sponge cake and a raspberry/strawberry mousse, all covered in chocolate ganache and then dusted with powdered sugar :) i wish i had a better picture of it, but oh wells. pictures never do my work justice!

i made a little diagram of the cross section of the cake to show the layers, just so you can see all my hard work haha. yay for free imitation photoshop!

anyway, i didn't actually get to eat the cake, but i was snacking on the scraps while i was making it haha. it didn't disappoint! (or that's what i thought at least).

as for my family moving, we still haven't found a place yet! what?! yeah. we've visited quite a few homes, and all the ones that seem like a good deal always have some sort of catch. we have even less time now that someone bought our house last week. they have a couple days left to back out of the offer, but that still doesn't give us much time. sighhh. i wish all this stuff wasn't such a big hassle! all i can say is, thank god for spring break. the first thing i did today was sleep in. it wasn't as delicious a sleep as i was hoping (my sis ended up waking me up early because she had school and she was getting ready) but at this point, just being able to stay in bed beyond 8 is still pretty awesome. i've already made a couple of plans for the coming days, and so far spring break seems fairly promising :)

one to be trifled with

today my dad took us to see the house they were considering getting in pomona, and geebuz that place was GHE-TTO. and not even ghettofabulous. just straight-up pitbulls in every yard, with an old tire place right behind it. people also seemed to get the impression that they could dump their stuff there, so in the back of the house there were piles of junk, including some old lumber and a baby carriage! really? the place wasn't even done being built. how can we expect to move there soon if they're not even done building it?! sighhhh.... here's hoping we move somewhere that i actually feel safe.

on a slightly less frustrating note, my baking midterm is this wednesday, and we'll have to make buttercream icing, dark chocolate mousse, lemon bouches, and write "happy birthday" in chocolate (and hopefully that's it). so in preparation for that, i practiced writing with chocolate today (even though for some reason it seemed that the more i practiced the worse it got) and then later used that chocolate to make the mousse.

since i had all this chocolate mousse, plus a vanilla cake from class that i kept in the freezer, plus a bunch of berries that i had to use for fear of them getting bad before i could, i made a faux-berry trifle (did you like my little pun in the title of this post? haha).

raspberries on top, a.k.a. the fruit that never fails to make my desserts look elegant (even though they really aren't haha)
really need to work on my layers, especially since i've never made a trifle before (who knew it would be so hard?). layers, from bottom to top: chocolate mousse, vanilla cake, mousse, strawberries, cake, mousse, raspberries.
note to self: don't put mousse in the fridge if you plan on working with it later! it stiffened up in the fridge because of the chocolate and was too hard to spread a smooth layer of it, hence the oddness of the layering here. also, apparently i forgot to soak the cake in syrup/coffee/whatever, so that part was a little dry. at this point, i don't care! it tasted bomb, and i wish i could eat more of it without feeling ashamed of myself.

on another note, this whole thing with me trying to lose weight is not really working out :( since we basically had to clear everything out of our house, that also meant that we had to take out all the exercise equipment, AND the weighing scale. and even with that gone, i can LITERALLY FEEL MYSELF GAINING WEIGHT. definitely not a good sign. dammit. why is food so tempting? why am i so weak?!! i need to work about a million times harder now at the rate i'm going.

things i need to save up for:

-a good camera

-a large bag that will actually fit all the things i need plus a change of clothes

-new flats because my last pair were ruined in the rain :(

-tart pans with removable bottoms

-gel food coloring

-circle cookie cutter set

-new spatula that WON'T melt

-Wii fit

-bikini for summahtime

-school

-the future

p.s. guess who got a 25% tip at the restaurant today? YO.
aaand for dinner tonight i made chicken in a brandy and mushroom cream sauce, saffron rice pilaf, and an orange, radish, and mint salad :p

some big news + actual pictures of food :)

so here goes: my family and i are moving! yay? eh. i don't really have too much of a problem with moving right now as much as i did when my family proposed moving back when i was in high school. mainly because we're not really planning on moving far (my parents were looking at brea and pomona and buena park) and i can actually drive now, so coming back to walnut wouldn't be that hard. mostly all this stuff is just a hassle with all the realtors and prospective buyers coming by to see the house.

so far we've moved a bunch of our stuff into storage and cleaned up the entire house, which kinda sucks because now i don't really know where anything is anymore... over the next couple of months, we're going to have people just coming in to look at the house on random days. that means during the time that someone could come, i can't cook, i can't nap, i can't work out or shower, basically i can't do anything that will let me relax. these times were all designated during my prime relaxation time! (8-3 during weekdays?! wtf?!) sighh. while people were coming in today, though, i was able to make a little something with all the fruits we bought at Costco yesterday ($5 for 12oz of raspberries? BOMBTASTIC).


"healthy" mini fruit tartlets. i've determined that they're healthy because not only are they covered in fruit, but instead of going all out and making a pastry cream filling from eggs and cream, i just used some vanilla yogurt as filling (fine... you caught me. i was really just too lazy to make the pastry cream. but i have my reasons!).

things i need to work on: presentation. i need to figure out how to arrange these fruits a little nicer because i didn't realize how small the actual tart was (it was actually so small that i couldn't fit a single, regular-sized strawberry on it). also, i think technically the actual filling isn't supposed to show.

and the tart dough. pfft. i need to stop following food blogs just because they look pretty. i got the recipe for the tart dough i used here from another blog, and the taste was just really disappointing (to me, at least. my family kinda just scarfed it down, so i guess they don't really care). the dough was too gummy to work with properly, and also, it actually rose in the oven! tart dough shouldn't do that!

all in all, they tasted okay. this whole thing was mostly just to practice my fruit arrangements and because i was bored. i wish i would have had some glaze or powdered sugar to put on top. i guess the health/convenience factor with the yogurt was good too, and it was nice just to have a mini dessert bite instead of a huge slice of cake. hopefully there will be more food pictures to come in the future! happy pi day :D

"it's hard to have a good tomorrow if you're always thinking about yesterday."

although i do feel as if i've taken some positive steps toward my future, sometimes it's hard not to look into the past. a lot of times i try to figure out what happened, pinpoint exactly where things went wrong. this tends to always bite me in the ass in some form or another, because eventually i realize that what's done is done, and there's no going back. before i do anything, i need to start asking myself, "is this something i will regret later?"

actually, wasn't that one of my new year's resolutions? not to act on impulse? good lord, i always thought that i was just about as bland as it gets, but apparently i DO do things on impulse, stupid things at that. i hate it when i realize that i've done something stupid waaay beyond the point of no return. i actually tend to plan and think through a lot of things in my life like what i'm going to wear tomorrow or the practicality of buying one thing over another. unfortunately, the things that i tend not to think through are those that are much more important and would really make a big difference in my life had i done something else.

at times it can be difficult for me to differentiate between impulse and spontaneity. i suppose these are the times that i really need to think through, but then, would it still be spontaneous? fuuuck. i need to go to sleep. i'll think about it in the morning.

in the mean time, i'll be here, laying in bed, trying to get over the past and how things should have happened. i guess all i can do for now is just REMEMBER these former mistakes and try not to let it happen again.

p.s. for dinner tonight i made a chicken breast roulade with sage and ham, a white wine sauce with sauteed mushrooms, risotto, and a spinach salad. i really think i need to start saving money and invest in a GOOD camera so i can take pics and show you guys what i make :p

i'm workin' on it!

so for the past 3 weeks or so i've been "working out" 2-3 times a week, mostly just running/walking on the treadmill and doing squats and stuff. this is my awkward attempt to take better care of myself haha. i didn't really work to lose the weight that i previously lost, and after all the stress of winter taking it's toll, i hit a "plateau" of sorts and actually started gaining a little weight again (oh nooes!!!).

so here's my goal: to lose at least 1 pound a week. i know this doesn't really seem like a lot, but with all the food i make both at home and at school (1 whole cake every week?! are you kidding me?!!) it's still going to be a challenge for me. besides, i'm not too sure about how much results i should expect after only working out 2 or 3 times a week. plus, my mom keeps buying ice cream! what the hell, mom?! i'm not going to be "dieting" exactly, mostly just reducing my portion sizes and trying to eat more fruits and vegetables. everything in moderation.

i'm really hoping that all that running will help me lose weight instead of just helping me gain muscle, which is what it looks like it's doing right now (my calf muscles are HUGE).

1 lb a week means that by the end of june i should lose at least 16 lbs. not too bad, right?

today for dinner i made breaded baked tilapia fillets and a spinach and romaine salad with radishes, bell peppers, tomatoes, green onions, and a spicy avocado dressing. mmm :p