rockin' the seam ripper

today is the first day of spring break, and i'd have to say it was pretty productive :)i got a little cleaning done and i almost finished making two things: a mini purse and a totally HAWTSOME scarf, both of which i am dying to wear outside of the house. i just need to make a few more adjustments and once i'm done with that it'll be totally bitchin'. i'm also planning on making another purse over the break, but this one'll be a lot bigger. perhaps i shall post pics later ;)

once again, sewing proves to be totally theraputic.

other plans for spring break include visiting lauuuura with reinalyn on thursday and going to litto tokyo on friday with the cousins. i also need to find some way to hang out with elaine some time this week because i haven't seen her in FOREVER and she can't go out on thursday :( my aunt asked me if i wanted to work for her for a day doing a clerical job at her office, which i'm a little hesitant about but i neeedd moneyy... at least i won't be picking up doggie doo, right? anywho i'm not even sure that whole "work" thing is gonna happen. we'll see.

now i'm off to listen to little children scream and to eat dinner. sigh.

grateful

this morning was, without a doubt, depressing. after a while of feeling down in the dumps and pretty shitty about myself, i wasn't exactly sure how to deal with all of this. which brings me to my point. i'm so grateful to have such great friends. they always pull through for me when i need them. chatting until 1 am, texting right when i start to feel lonely, an impromptu meeting at cue, having a talk on the driveway in the dark. seriously, i don't care if this sounds super corny or cheesy, some of you guys may not know how much this means to me. and i really am grateful.

i love you guys. and that's all that needs to be said about that. peace!

spring, spring!

i need to start knitting again! the sweater i was trying to knit over the summer is still sitting on my desk, half-way done. this is yet another example of my poor procrastination kicking in. i also need to start sewing again. the half-way done purse i was sewing is also sitting on my desk... i need to start finding time to do all this stuff. luckily, spring break is coming up soon (next week! woot!) so hopefully i'll get a lot of shit done that week. i've been browsing the internet a lot to try and find some inspiration for things to sew or make, and now at least i can find some uses for some of the fabric i bought at LA fashion district. new ideas are a-poppin' and i can't go a-stoppin'!

the lavender bush and strawberry plant in my horticulture garden are blooming, and i can't help but be reminded of spring. fresh culinary ideas are coming to mind as well, mainly because i need to figure out what to do with all the produce from our garden once harvesting day comes around. it's so nice to drive to school nowadays because i can finally drive by the fresh, green hills, some with little hints of flowers, rather than having to drive by the winded, weathered-down, and burnt hills that come around during late summer and fall. i guess that's what they mean by spring renewal. with so much negativity clogging our atmosphere, it's no wonder something as simple as a blooming flower can be a symbol for hope.

in other news, ronald (my cousin) is officially moving out of our house. i actually haven't seen him for the past few weeks, but he still leaves his luggage and stuff here, and yesterday he finally came to pick them all up. my grandma is going to be staying here for a few weeks before she goes to norcal to stay with my aunt, which is pretty cool, as long as she doesn't bring my other aunt's dogs here. i just hope i don't gain any weight while my grandma stays over... home-cooked food is always daunting...

my grandma suggested that i stay over at one of my aunt's house over spring break to watch the dogs so i can get some money. ummm.... i NEED money, but i don't know if i'm willing to risk my break for it. after weeks and weeks of coming home from school dead-tired, i think i deserve at least one weeks' break. plus, a week with my aunt?! and her boyfriend?!! at HIS house?!!! let the awkwardness ensue...

today i took my first midterm of the semester. none of my other classes have midterms until after the break, but i'm totally glad i got it over with today. it means one less test, and it also means i don't have to come in wednesday morning, meaning more sleep!! yay!!! more sleep=happy elaine :)

i just noticed that the paragraphs in this entry are getting progressively smaller... random haha

have a nice day! :D

the deal

so here's a little update on my cellphone, because until today i was totally confused, and i'm sure you guys were too!!

i can keep my phone, but calls are for emergencies only... which, unfortunately means no hour-long phone calls. but! i do still have unlimited texts! so yeah! basically instead of just eliminating my cellphone privileges all together, we're sharing a family plan with my aunt, so we're paying less...? i'm not entirely sure how all of this works out, but at least i still have my phone, which i am entirely grateful for :D

today i drove 30 miles to get to school

only to find out once i got there that my class was canceled. seriously, this needs to stop. this is the second time this week that this has happened. sigh.

i just wanted to say that because i'm very disappointed. this week school has been very, very disappointing. :/

random, tired thoughts.

you don't have to read this if you don't want to. i honestly just felt like typing. so if you have the time, here are some random, tired thoughts.

I cant help but feel left behind sometimes. Left alone. Left behind. It’s almost the same thing, to me at least. I’m trying to think of a good example of this, and there are actually so many instances of this running through my head right now. Especially today. Right now. My head hurts. I think to myself, that I need more time to mull it over. But my brain literally hurts. Not enough sleep. Not enough water. I’m suddenly thirsty. Water suddenly tastes good. We cooked veal in class today. I’ve never had it before, but I’m so glad that this was the first time I’ve had it. Soo good. It tasted like it was good for the soul too. Why does everything “good” have to have a consequence?! Veal is “tortured baby cow,” as South Park so eloquently put it. Tuesdays are basically all-meat classes. The vegetarian girl wasn’t in class today. I no longer see the vegan guy as well. My stomach is growling. I need to stop starving myself during the day. That’s probably another reason my head hurts. I’m downing another bottle of water. There are at least three empty bottles of water on my car floor right now. I’m sitting at home and drinking another bottle, and I begin to wonder how much trash I’ve produced because I was too lazy to walk into the kitchen and get a glass of water. I stopped typing for a while because my rabbit was beckoning for attention. I suddenly miss laura. There’s still 50 minutes left until midnight, but this is the most tired I’ve felt in a really long time. It’s now 11:11 pm. I wish for a few things, but now I’m sad at the realization that what I wish for is something that I don’t think I can get on my own. As if the only way it can come true is through some sort of miracle. It’s so close I can feel it, but taking chances puts me at risk, and I’ve been feeling a lot like a coward lately. My rabbit sits at my feet and asks for attention again. He stomps his foot and stares at me. I spend about an hour every night watching him hop and run around the garage. I wish I was this consistent with my sleeping. I have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow morning. I think it’s time for sleep.

sudden realization

today i realized it was only week 5 in the semester. WEEK 5 OUT OF 16. i am wayy to tired for my own good. sometimes i wish i had a job, but then i remember how tired i am just after class. every week: english, contemporary ethnic america, culinary principles 2 lecture, culinary principles 2 lab, english, horticultural science, contemporary ethnic america, principles of baking 1 lab, principles of baking 1 lecture, in that order.

this morning was a big ball of nothing. my first class is usually scheduled to begin at 9:35, so after dealing with all the morning traffic and whatnot, i came to class, and lo and behold, class is cancelled. my next class didn't start until 1pm. i wish i didn't have to wake up at 6:30 for that class :(

after a long, but calming, day at the gardens, i finally got home around 6:45. now that i think of it, nevermind that "big ball of nothing" comment. it turns out it's way more calming at school than it is at home. i spent the morning getting some homework done and flipping through fashion magazines in the library, and the afternoon was spent planting more veggies in the garden. sigh. i had to come home to screaming little boys running around the house, and now that i've mulled it over i think it's worth driving over there sometimes, just because it's so much more quiet. i think the only thing i don't really appreciate this semester is having to pay for gas so often and having to dig up worms for hort (ewww).

also, the lack of eating. you would think a culinary arts major would at least try to make time to eat, but today i didn't eat anything until i got home around 7, and most of my week is basically like that.

now to prepare for baking class tomorrow. this tends to be one of the classes that i enjoy coming to school for :)