random, tired thoughts.

you don't have to read this if you don't want to. i honestly just felt like typing. so if you have the time, here are some random, tired thoughts.

I cant help but feel left behind sometimes. Left alone. Left behind. It’s almost the same thing, to me at least. I’m trying to think of a good example of this, and there are actually so many instances of this running through my head right now. Especially today. Right now. My head hurts. I think to myself, that I need more time to mull it over. But my brain literally hurts. Not enough sleep. Not enough water. I’m suddenly thirsty. Water suddenly tastes good. We cooked veal in class today. I’ve never had it before, but I’m so glad that this was the first time I’ve had it. Soo good. It tasted like it was good for the soul too. Why does everything “good” have to have a consequence?! Veal is “tortured baby cow,” as South Park so eloquently put it. Tuesdays are basically all-meat classes. The vegetarian girl wasn’t in class today. I no longer see the vegan guy as well. My stomach is growling. I need to stop starving myself during the day. That’s probably another reason my head hurts. I’m downing another bottle of water. There are at least three empty bottles of water on my car floor right now. I’m sitting at home and drinking another bottle, and I begin to wonder how much trash I’ve produced because I was too lazy to walk into the kitchen and get a glass of water. I stopped typing for a while because my rabbit was beckoning for attention. I suddenly miss laura. There’s still 50 minutes left until midnight, but this is the most tired I’ve felt in a really long time. It’s now 11:11 pm. I wish for a few things, but now I’m sad at the realization that what I wish for is something that I don’t think I can get on my own. As if the only way it can come true is through some sort of miracle. It’s so close I can feel it, but taking chances puts me at risk, and I’ve been feeling a lot like a coward lately. My rabbit sits at my feet and asks for attention again. He stomps his foot and stares at me. I spend about an hour every night watching him hop and run around the garage. I wish I was this consistent with my sleeping. I have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow morning. I think it’s time for sleep.