bittersweet

things are a little weird for me right now. there seems to be some things happening that are bad, but at the same time there are some things going on that are good; it''s so confusing!! what the hell!! is it too much to ask for a little security these days?!

let me just elaborate on this: just as i'm getting more and more comfortable in my relationship with the bf, even to the point where i'd actually tell my parents about him (which i thought would be a LOOONG time from now), he dumps me. and in my attempt to remain friends with him, i volunteered at the shelter today so we could cook together, and guess what? no tension, no awkwardness (to me at least; idk what he himself was thinking). we actually worked pretty damn well when we worked together, which was definitely a big surprise. so it totally sucks that we broke up, but it's totally awesome that we can still be friends and joke around and stuff. i really don't know how to feel about all this! sighhh. life is waaay too unpredictable.

also, THANK GOD for the Rescue Mission. if i had never worked there, i would never have met all these great people, i would never have gotten all this experience in high volume cooking, and i would never have gotten that weekend job last month and made that $500 (which i am planning on spending soon on a new kick-ass chef's knife). all last semester i was kind of moping around about not having an actual job, but the rescue mission is totally awesome, even if i don't get paid. plus if i make a mistake, they're pretty forgiving about it, and none of that money comes out of my pocket! aaaand since i STILL don't have a regular part-time job this semester (YET) i'll be volunteering there every sunday, which i'm really looking forward to :)

life at home is okay too. we're starting to get everything settled with my uncle's death, like closing his bank accounts and stuff. in a few weeks we're planning on going on a boat in Long Beach so we can scatter his ashes at sea, which is what he always wanted.

my school starts again next week, and hopefully things won't be incredibly stressful. i have classes tuesday to friday, but my classes on tuesday, wednesday, and thursday all end around 6pm! sighhh. why do all the classes required for me have to have such shitty hours?? ohh well. beggars can't be choosers. i got all the classes i needed for this semester (for the most part), so i guess i shouldn't complain.

so what's today's obvious-but-realized lesson? life is unpredictable. deal with it, woman! it's what all the cool kids are doing these days :)